This might get the award for best article title too.
The Seattle Times: Nation & World: He was naked, on crack and in alligator’s mouth
“A gator’s got me,” Apgar replied, his voice faint in the background.
Mayid’s call shortly after 4 a.m. sent four Polk County, Fla., deputies racing to the 2,150-acre lake just outside Lakeland, Fla., where they jumped into the water and wrenched Apgar’s arm from the gator’s mouth. The 45-year-old victim, who told authorities he’d passed out nude on the shore after smoking crack cocaine, was rushed to a hospital in critical condition.
Later Wednesday, state wildlife authorities trapped and killed a nearly 12-foot-long alligator thought to be the one that attacked Apgar. ….. Sheriff’s officials have said Apgar, 45, suffered a broken right arm. His left arm was nearly severed, and he had bites to his buttocks and leg. He underwent surgery Wednesday afternoon at Lakeland Regional Medical Center